92 - The Sky is Not the Limit: The Resilient Path of Fletcher Cleaves

Lindy: 0:00

Well, hello there Welcome to Lindy's Audio Cafe. My name is Lindy and I'm absolutely delighted to be back in the podcast chair again today. It was raining this morning when I woke up here in the beautiful Comox Valley and I was so happy to hear that. We've been in drought conditions throughout the summer. We hit level three water restrictions again today and to hear that rain going was really a good way to start my day. But that's not what I'm going to be talking about today.

Lindy: 0:28

I have a lot more going on today. As a matter of fact, I'm being joined this morning via Zoom, from over 4,000 kilometers away. I'm going to be talking to a really amazing gentleman named Fletcher Cleves. Now Fletcher Cleves is talking to me all the way from Memphis. That is huge. I've never talked to anybody in Memphis before not that I'm aware of, so and Fletcher has an amazing story and his story is full of resilience and hope and inspiration, and he's got a story like no other and it's really important to keep that dial turned up and listen to this story. So I'm going to start by introducing Fletcher and saying good morning.

Fletcher: 1:14

Good morning. How are you doing?

Lindy: 1:16

Oh, I'm good. How are you doing?

Fletcher: 1:18

I'm great. I'm great. I hope everybody out there in podcast land is doing well as well. So glad to be here and excited for this conversation.

Lindy: 1:25

Oh, I'm so glad to have you here now. You are an amazing person. I have done some reading online, but I decided that, even though I have the gift of gab, I'm going to zip it for a little bit and I'm going to let you tell your story, and maybe you can start out by telling us a little bit about yourself.

Fletcher: 1:42

Absolutely so. My name is Fletcher Cleves, born and raised here in Memphis, Tennessee, as you said earlier, and you know I'm just a hometown kid. I love sports. Growing up I was the epitome of boys will be boys. You know I was putting firecrackers in mailboxes and ding dong, ditching and all that stuff. So you know my parents wanted me to channel that energy into something more positive. So they put me in organized team sports.

Fletcher: 2:07

And once I got into organized team sports I kind of realized that I was physically gifted. I was faster or stronger than a lot of my peers at the same age and I kind of just play sports and took it all the way, so to speak. And I was blessed enough to receive a football scholarship in high school. But you know, when I was, I went to college after two days after high school graduation. You know I'm going to this football scholarship. I'm super excited. But unfortunately in September 10 2009, and my car crash anniversary was actually yesterday, 14 years ago, as of 10 September 2009, a lady was texting and driving and ran my roommate off the road, causing us to flip into an embankment, which caused the car to flip multiple times. During that process the roof, like the roof came in and broke my neck in two places and I became paralyzed.

Lindy: 2:59

Oh my goodness, that actually just gives me shivers, just even imagining that that that is unreal.

Fletcher: 3:07

Yeah it was a, it was a tough time, you know, being 18 years, young and full of life and ready to take on the college world and having to cut short. You know, two or three months into the journey and you know, football was immediately taken from me and this whole story that we're going to discuss is basically me enduring that journey and over time and adversity.

Lindy: 3:27

Wow, and at 18 years old, you know, you had the world at your fingertips. You had this football scholarship, you were getting ready to go to school and in an instant, basically what happened is somebody did something that they shouldn't have been doing and it impacted your life forever.

Fletcher: 3:46

Absolutely not just my life. It impacted my parents, my grandparents, anybody who was connected to me. It impacted everyone's lives. But we chose to well, I chose to overcome adversity and endure hardship to my fullest capability and it brought me to a lot of great places throughout the world and met a lot of great people.

Lindy: 4:06

You have an amazing positive attitude, like I know everything that I've you online, about going like this guy is amazing. He sees the glasses half empty or half full, not half empty. You know people often say you know which side are you viewing the glass? Well, you definitely are a person with a very positive attitude and it's amazing. And you know and you just mentioned something that I think you know we sometimes don't always recognize when there's any kind of trauma or tragedy that happens in our family and affects us physically. You also mentioned that it affected your family as well. Can you share a bit about that?

Fletcher: 4:41

Yeah, so you know I'm an only child. So my parents, you know they got their phone call that their child is in the hospital. It has been in a car crash. I need to get to the hospital immediately and they never left my side through that whole journey as well. So it affected my family tremendously. You know me being an only child and my parents getting that phone call that their only child is in a car crash. I need to come to the hospital immediately and you know, unfortunately they lost their jobs during the process because they had to stay at the hospital 10 days and then we went to Atlanta, Georgia, where I did therapy for an entire year and you know they lost their jobs during that process.

Fletcher: 5:17

So you know my grandmother back in Memphis had to like pick up a second job to help us with expenses and you know it was just a lot of. It was like a domino effect for my parents. You know this, and my grandmother that, and my family having to chip in and support from aunties and uncles and cousins and all that. But it was. I have a great support system and it allowed me to, you know, go back to college and, you know, graduate with a degree in computer science and become a speaker and a world traveler and an advocate and a motivation and an inspiration, and all these things that I've accomplished. So I'm thankful for my family, for sure.

Lindy: 5:52

That's pretty incredible. So you mentioned you went back to school and you got a degree. So and I know we haven't really touched base in the podcast as what physical changes you've endured post-accident. So how did things change for you?

Fletcher: 6:07

Yeah, I became a collegiate athlete. You know you rely on your physical capability so much. But then when my car crash happened, I broke my neck in two places. I was paralyzed from the chest down, so now I'm quadriplegic and I don't have access to a lot of parts of my body, you know, as far as like my legs or my fingers and my arms or was parts of my arms, so to speak.

Fletcher: 6:28

But that just being in a wheelchair and like going back to campus, like the last time I was taken to my head, my first day was last time I was on campus. I was on a football scholarship. Now I'm at a completely different college, in a wheelchair, going through these, you know, physical changes. But I chose not to be defeated by my wheelchair, not to be changed by my circumstances, and I wanted to continuously go to college and graduate and experience the college life. You know I wanted to go to homecoming and wanted to, you know, participate in activities and water balloon fights and spring breaks and all this stuff, and I was able to do all of that.

Lindy: 7:05

Wow, that's incredible. Now, did some of your friends that you had from high school go along to the same college or university with you, or were you going totally on your own meeting new people?

Fletcher: 7:16

I met a lot of new people but for the most part because it was here in Memphis, the University of Memphis, I still knew a lot of people that, hey, fletcher, you know, welcome back to Memphis. But a lot of people didn't know about my car crash. So they would see me and was like, fletcher, what are you doing in a wheelchair? And I was like, oh, that was in an accident a year ago and this is why. But a lot of people from my hometown went to that college. I saw a lot of familiar faces but so it was great having people that a lot of my peers were at the same college. So it was great having people there that knew me and could help me and familiar faces to help me. You know, just overcome small things like reaching certain things or pushing me to class, because you know I was newly in a wheelchair, my arms would get tired often, but you know, now I'm used to it and it's a great. It's a great thing to have that type of friendship and friends around you.

Lindy: 8:05

And how did you find it for accessibility and resources? When you went to school, were there elevators, was everything on one level? How was that for you?

Fletcher: 8:15

No, I wasn't on one level, but it was somewhat accessible. You never pay attention to things until you need it. So of course, when I was playing football, I never paid attention to where the elevator was or did curb cuts or how accessible things were. But now, since I'm in a wheelchair, I kind of focus on, you know, that accessibility a lot more. I remember one year my English class was upstairs but the elevator was broken. So . They canceled class for two days until they fixed the elevator, because you know it wasn't fair that I missed class simply because the elevator was broken. So they tried to move it to the first floor but they couldn't find any open room. So they had to cancel class for two days and all my friends were like thanks, fletch, you know. But I was like, hey, it's not my fault, it is what it is.

Fletcher: 9:00

But yes, those things like that, that's it.

Lindy: 9:03

That's incredible and I actually think sorry(throat clear) I think that's great because I had a guest on the podcast a few months back who also was in a wheelchair and he was actually one of the first people mainstreamed in his school and where he's from he's from the US as well and he actually had me thinking a lot about these different things and things that he'd gone through going to school. So that kind of made me think about, like I wonder how it was for you and you know, were the bathrooms accessible? Was there a cafeteria where all those things accessible? And then how did you go about doing your courses online? Like, did you have things that were voice activated? How did it work?

Fletcher: 9:43

Yeah, so accessibility, it was tough but for the most part it was. But you said, like some bathrooms were accessible, so I had to go to the accessible bathroom that I knew was work for me, which may have been across campus. But I graduated, but during the time I didn't take any online classes. All my classes were in person.

Lindy: 10:02

Perfect, and did you have somebody to assist you with the typing and doing the answers, or how did you do that?

Fletcher: 10:07

Yeah, so the University of Memphis, the ADA (excuse me) compliance office. I had a scribe that was appointed to by someone that was already in the class, so, like the fact that I can't write, so certain students have to have so many community hours to keep their scholarships like their academic scholarships, so they would take notes on like a carbon copy piece of paper and then share a part and I would get you know the front copy, that we get the back copy and that's how it worked, and then I would take my test in like a separate room where I could talk to someone to help me circle answers or write down things. But it worked out, it worked well and I love my college experience.

Lindy: 10:47

That's incredible. So now you did all this and I just think it's really neat the way you tell me that you're able to do it and you ended up with a degree. Can you tell me about that?

Fletcher: 10:58

Yes, I chose to. You know I love math at the time and I did computer science and it was a very strenuous degree but I didn't want to quit, I didn't want to give up. So I didn't want to change my major because I felt like I would be saying I can't do it, Like this is too hard, I can't do it. So I stuck with it all four years and graduated with a degree of computer science. So I started working in IT. Yeah, thank you to start working in IT and, you know, start traveling the world and doing so many great things that you have seen online.

Lindy: 11:29

That is really, really cool and I have so much admiration for that. One of my kids is actually in the IT sector. I know it's a lot of work. And that's a huge degree to have. I have so much admiration for you, yeah, so you'll be understanding if I have any issues today. I'm just going to get help from you right while we're online (giggle). Oh boy, so that is just so incredible. So, and with that kind of degree, you could pick up work worldwide, because so much stuff is done online now.

Fletcher: 12:02

Absolutely. Yeah, you know there's so many, especially with the work from home culture. Now I've been working from home so I've been looking for new work opportunities. But doing right now the job market is kind of tough so it's been hard or not as easy as I thought it would be finding new employment, but I have faith that it will all work out in the end.

Lindy: 12:21

Wow, that is absolutely amazing. And you know, even venturing onto that technology side, it's pretty neat. You know, I even think about during the pandemic, so many more people started working from home. And you know, having that IT support, information technology, you know, new programs coming out, new things, I can just see where it would have been a very busy time. And I know even myself, I'm okay, my age is about to come out, I'm three years away from 60. And you know, you know, and it's like I know that even now, you know, if my son's helped me out, it's like he puts a little program open on my computer. You open it up and the mouse goes around my screen and he fixes things for me and it's done and I'm back on track again and I podcast again. And you know, and I have a lot of respect for what you do in your industry, because that's a lot of work and things are always changing, always.

Fletcher: 13:15

Always changing.

Lindy: 13:16

Yeah, there's so much to be on top of. So I mean, even now I'm sure mentally you're always still learning, even though you've got this degree in computer science.

Fletcher: 13:25

Absolutely.

Lindy: 13:26

Pretty amazing, and so you know there's. You've talked a little bit online about how faith and forgiveness helped you with your journey, and I mean faith and forgiveness go a long way in life. Do you want to talk about that a little bit? How did that help you out?

Fletcher: 13:43

Yeah, I had to have. Well, first off, forgiveness for the lady that caused my car crash and I'm being bitter or resentful towards her, and then having faith that things will work out for all better, for all you know, for things work out for the better. That you know that me being in the hospital this isn't the end of my story, or me Living with my parents is not the end of my story, or me having you know troubles was at the end of my story. I chose to take each task on head on and overcome that. You know like what you're gonna graduate, but you're gonna drive, but you're gonna move out, but you're gonna travel the world, but you're gonna be a motivation speaker. You know, just talking to myself and saying that anything I want to accomplish is right at the, at the tips of my fingertips, if I just have faith and Not afraid to work hard.

Lindy: 14:33

I totally do, you know, and it's interesting because I'm actually writing a book right now, sharing my podcast experience, and you know, there are a lot of times when I was like, oh, I'm too old for this, I can't figure this out, I can't do this. And then it's just, you know, just persevering and getting through things and not letting yourself get talked out of things, but talking yourself into things. It's amazing what the power of the mind can do when you put your mind to something.

Fletcher: 14:57

Exactly. You know you're stronger than what you realize. We don't know how strong we are until we have to be. So we have no options, or when you, when you put your mind to it, say I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna accomplish this, no matter what obstacles I am faced with, and then you realize that you can do anything.

Lindy: 15:13

That's amazing, like you are absolutely incredible. And so now you share this story, right, you travel around the world, you share this story with schools, with groups. Can you tell us a little bit more about that?

Fletcher: 15:25

Yes, I started speaking about 10 years ago and it started just started like local YMCA's and community centers and just summer camp kids and then kind of snowball to seniors and then juniors and entire schools and colleges. And then AT&T heard about my story and they created a commercial about my story. Then, once that commercial aired nationally, everything kind of took off. People started reaching out to me from different parts of the country. Asking can I come share my story and you being in contact with so many like Department of Transportation, because I'll talk about safe driving and high schools and talking about having an important education and sport teams, understanding that you know your sport will end one day. You have to have something to fall back on, as I did. Even though I wasn't able to play football, I still went to college and graduated. So I reached so many different avenues and so many different aspects through my story that I'm very thankful and great for for.

Lindy: 16:20

That's incredible, absolutely amazing. And so, yeah, I think the fact that you can get out there and share your story with other people and you know it just it's a reminder to all of us about when we're driving those cars. That's a lot of metal that we're and you know, and for even for young people I shouldn't just say young people, anybody that's getting their driver's license once you have that license, it's a huge, huge responsibility.

Lindy: 16:50

Absolutely yeah, and you're sharing your story and letting people know that distracted driving can change the life of anybody in an instant and it can change the life of the person in the other vehicle. It can change your own life, because now you've got to live with that the rest of your life and you know, in that in itself is huge, really, really huge. And I think about distracted driving I mean right off the bat. When you say distracted driving, okay, don't text and drive. But you know, I know somebody else many years ago who had a car accident.

Lindy: 17:21

This is back in the day when we still had cassette tapes going into those cassette players, you know, and I guess be comparable to CDs now and somebody that I know this was probably 35, 40 years ago was putting their cassette tape into the player and that second they looked down to put their cassette tape in, they looked up, the vehicle in front of them had stopped and kaboom, you know, and that person was hurt, not as, not as bad, but they had some pretty severe whiplash and a lot of damage to their vehicle. And I remember talking to this gentleman after he said if I just had waited and not tried to put that music on while I was driving, if I had just put that cassette in before I started driving.

Lindy: 18:09

Absolutely. And eating is another one. And and I've noticed that a lot I'll I'll be watching drivers as they go by and People have a really busy lifestyle. Now, right, they're running from A to B. You know they're working full-time, running for families doing this, doing that. They don't have time to eat during the day. So go through the drive-through we know what the drive-throughs look like and they're grabbing those hamburgers and, as they're driving along, taking off the wrapper, putting the hamburger in again. It's distracted. And don't get me wrong, I'm all about the hamburgers, I'm a foodie, but you kind of have to make sure that if you're gonna do that, I would think that get those wrappers open and do that stuff before you ever hit the road, not be trying to open up the food packs while you're driving.

Fletcher: 18:54

But you absolutely correct. Just we're trying to take a sip of your sprite or eat the french fries or doing anything that takes your focus off of driving, whether it's your hands off the wheel, whether it's your eyes off the road, or whether even it's your mental. Just you know zone and they kind of zoning out where you know you're driving and you're thinking about so many different other things. Yeah, so, as I was mentioning, distracted driving is not just hand or not just texting, it's anything that takes your hands off the wheel, your eyes off the road or even your mental off of driving. Where you're sitting there Driving and you're like did I close the garage, did I lock the door and then, before you know it, you've passed the street you were supposed to turn on. You're like, how did I get way down here? I was supposed to turn three exits ago.

Lindy: 19:34

Yeah, and I get that especially. You know, I even think back to my younger days, when I was raising kids and working full-time, and I know there were days when I was driving and going oh my gosh, like we're here already and, like you say, your mind's going a million miles an hour. I need to be here. I need to be there. Am I gonna be late for work? Did I remember to pack the snow pants and the mittens? Did I do this? Did I do that?

Lindy: 19:54

And sometimes it's just having to stop and block all that stuff out and be focused. And and I think I actually learned to ride a motorcycle in my 50s, I was 52 and I got my license and that was one of the first things that they stressed to us with riding a motorcycle was there is no room for distraction. You have to be 110% focused on the road at all times and be aware as to who's around you and and, and I think actually taking the motorcycle training helped me a little bit to. It probably took an older gal here and brought me back into realizing what is so important to be doing when we're on the road. It was really helpful for me. Well, that's pretty neat, but the things that you've managed to do, though, since you've had this. Now there's one more thing that I want to touch base on, and I noticed on your website, you have a thing called you're the Wheelchair Nomad. That's a real name.

Fletcher: 20:49

What can you tell us?

Lindy: 20:49

about the wheelchair nomad.

Fletcher: 20:51

So the wheelchair domain came about, where I was just traveling the world and posting pictures on social media, like everybody else was. You know, I would go to Paris, post some pictures, go to Italy, post some pictures, go to Toronto, post some pictures. And then people were like man, you're like, you're everywhere, like this guy that was sitting in my story, to like different news media, people and other people in wheelchairs. It's like hey, this guy's in the wheelchair, he travels the world. You know, you can too, talking to other people in wheelchairs, because a lot of times people with mobility issues they think they can't really go anywhere and do much because they're confined to a certain area of space. And I'm living proof that you can go or do anything that you want to. So somebody was like you know, Fletcher, you're like a nomad, you're everywhere. And just me being silly. I was like yeah, I'm a wheelchair nomad and it kind of just stuck. I would just make posts saying the Wheelchair Nomad's in Vegas, the Wheelchair Nomads in DC, and it kind of just stuck. It stuck with it.

Lindy: 21:43

That is really neat.

Fletcher: 21:45

Yeah, Now I just travel the world. They speak at different travel conferences about accessibility and the travel industry, hotels and transportation and excursion and lack of accessible luxury and all these things that I feel people with mobility issues should be able to obtain or experience. You know I try to be an advocate for it.

Lindy: 22:07

And do you find it's really helpful for the companies that you engage with, like maybe they always say that the most important thing you can do is to talk to people that are actually using the services that you provide and do you find that companies are listening? Are they hearing you?

Fletcher: 22:21

Yes, I've been hired as a consultant to come in and say, you know, hey, can you check out our accessibility? We just build a new hotel. Can you check out the accessibility? Make sure we're on point. It's not just about doing their bare minimum so you don't get sued. It's like you know, the state says we have to have four handicapped parking's for every 100 parking, or whatever. Right, I'm like, yeah, but why would you not put them by the door? You know it's like. You know, yeah, you have them, but make it not accessible, but make it convenient. Or, you know, spread them out. Or you know, so I do that and just try to help companies be on top of their game.

Lindy: 22:59

And that makes total sense to me. I know, even when I go somewhere, often if there's a whole selection of parking spots open and I live in a community that has a lot of seniors we're definitely a retirement community, so I'm always aware of that when I go and park somewhere and think, okay, there's a bunch of spaces open, I'll take the one a bit further away because I know for some of the seniors and people it's a little bit harder. You know and I think you made a really good point there that if you're going to build those parking spaces, make it where it's closer. And I even think about climate conditions.

Lindy: 23:31

Another one of my podcast guests that I had on this past winter is also in a wheelchair and she lives up in the Yukon and she told a story one day about a really difficult situation she encountered where the ramp was slippery and icy and it was a very difficult situation for her that day. And I know that can be challenging sometimes in different climate conditions. But making sure it stays accessible as much as possible through all climate conditions is really important as well. We're freezing a bit, but I think we're coming back here (technical issue with online recording). So we have another thing here that I want to talk about, and that is the sky. Can you tell me about the sky?

Fletcher: 24:11

Yeah. So my business and the saying I kind of adopted is "don't tell me the sky is the limit when there's footprints on the moon. And basically what that means is there are no limitations to what you can achieve. Like you know, we've all heard the saying the sky is the limit. I'm like no, it's not there's. You could go so much further than the sky and basically it's by not allowing that people to put limitations on your life. You are the only one that can put limitations on your life. You are the author of your own story. The only limitations are the ones you impose on yourself. So don't let someone tell you the sky is the limit when there's footprints on the moon.

Lindy: 24:45

I love that. That is absolutely amazing and I think I'm going to have to. I'm going to make that a little sign. I think I'm going to put that up on my office wall and anytime I have that little inclination where maybe my self esteem starting to drop a little, I think I can't do something. I think I'm going to have that as a saying. Put it right on my wall.

Lindy: 25:04

I'm going to remind myself of that. Now you have a book also. I noticed that online as well. You wrote a story about what and what happened.

Fletcher: 25:13

Yeah, so the book is entitled the Sky is Not the Limit, the Fletcher /Cleves Story, and it's basically the journey I've endured. You know, chapter one is from my perspective and then, as you mentioned, about my support system, my father has a chapter, my mother has a chapter, my therapist has a chapter, the guy that was in the car with me, my roommate, he has a chapter and he's basically just, you know, tell you how was it when you met Fletcher, or how was this experience for you? And you know, being on all the channels I mentioned, my father or mother just have two totally different perspectives on the same story. And it's a fantastic book and if you love it, check it out on Amazon or you can get it at FletcherCleavescom.

Lindy: 25:54

Perfect, that is awesome, and I'll put links in my show notes as well, so people know where to find that. Yeah, so this is really neat that you shared your story with us today, and I guess, if you had a final thought that you'd want to share with everybody, just motivational or otherwise, what would you want to say?

Fletcher: 26:15

Um. So everybody out there in podcast land, I have a question for you: how big would you dream if you knew you couldn't fail, if you knew that failure was not an option? How big would you dream? But if a genie came in, granted you three wishes and whatever you wanted, whatever you wanted you know, or whatever you had to. I'm saying like I want to be an astronaut, I want a million dollars, I want, whatever the case may be, work on that today. Don't put off today with I mean don't put off until tomorrow which you can do today. Life is a gift. That's why we live in the present and I'm a firm believer that every day is an opportunity to be better than you were yesterday.

Lindy: 26:53

I love it. Geez, not only am I going to have your poster on my wall, I'm going to have that recording beside me as well, here too. Yes, that's amazing. Well, thank you so much for sharing that, and I can't thank you enough for taking the time to come on the podcast today and share your story with us. And again, I'm going to put some links in my show notes where you can buy Fletcher Cleves' book, and I'll also put a link to his website on there as well. And no matter where you're at, remember he does do speaking internationally, and I know that I have listeners from all over the world. So if you know somebody that could basically have Fletcher come in as a motivational speaker, whether it's to high schools, you know, to adults, to people in the workplace I think it would definitely be worthwhile having them reach out, because you've got an amazing attitude. I call it the attitude of gratitude.

Fletcher: 27:43

There you go, absolutely.

Lindy: 27:44

Yeah Well, thank you so much again for coming on the show and I'm just going to wrap it up here, but of course I have to say the line that I always say on every podcast is you head out today, everybody, have a great, wonderful day, and remember what I always say, that smiles come in all languages and in all colors. All right, have a great day everybody. Take care, bye, bye.

Speaker 2: 28:07

Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, please click like, share on your social media and hit that subscribe button for future updates. Don't forget to join the Lindy's Audio Cafe podcast group on Facebook or visit www. lindysaudiocafe. com. Have a great week, everyone, and remember when you head out that smiles come in all languages and in all colors.